if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
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She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
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After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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