yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
