Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
There's even glitter on my cock...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
