"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
