seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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