I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize