I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
