.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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