saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
