Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
