no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
