Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
