Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
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Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
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I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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