My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Can Purell be used as lube?
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
