i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
