Have you finally orgasmed yet?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
there was a trapeze. enough said
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
