Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize