youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
