Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
