He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
