adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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