It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
