its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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