I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
