Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
