I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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