so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
if only i could text you this smell
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out mid-signature
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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