I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
