he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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