I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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