listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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