I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
