I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize