i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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