You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
