the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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