...so i touched it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
