i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
