I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
