maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
This baby is an asshole
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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