i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
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