Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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