Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
