I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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