I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
