But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
