youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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