I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
