Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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