Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
