I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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