shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
