Already got asked if we're dating
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i think my cat just said my name.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
