Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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