JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
