She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
