This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
