Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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