I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
