it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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