how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
