Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
