If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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