if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
