I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
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